This one was posted on the cofr forums today, had to post it here :)

Things that are difficult to say when you're drunk.

a) Innovative
b) Preliminary
c) Proliferation
d) Cinnamon

Things that are VERY difficult to say when you're drunk . .

a) Specificity
b) British Constitution
c) Passive-aggressive disorder
d) Transubstantiate

Things that are DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE to say when you're drunk...

a) Thanks, but I don't want to sleep with you.
b) Nope, no more drinks for me, I've reached my limit.
c) Sorry, but you're not really my type.
d) Please take the shooters back, let's have water.
e) Good evening officer, isn't it lovely out tonight?
f) I'm not interested in fighting you.
g) Oh, I just couldn't - no one wants to hear me sing.
h) Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have zero coordination.
I) Where is the nearest toilet? I refuse to vomit in the street.
j) I must be going home now as I have work in the morning.
k) Look, it would be great to have a f**k but I hardly know you and we will only feel really embarrassed and awkward in the morning.
l) That guy is looking at my girlfriend but I am sure its just because he knows her or something.
m) That chair looks wobbly and dangerous and I certainly wouldn't try balancing on it with this short skirt on in case I fell off.
n) I must get to my bed as I could never have a really good sleep in
that hedge.

I went to visit my past today
It’s better than calling
You never answer anyways.

I took the train to your town
And walked down streets
I used to call “mine”

I stopped by and had some ribs
Across the street from the place I once met you
And half a year later, promised to marry you.

Walked by the street where you still live,
Where you still wake up every weekday
Too late for work.

I seem to have forgotten that day
Six years ago
When I packed up and left.

In my head I’m listing all
The little things I never said
And I wonder if things would have been different.

I wonder if your mother
Drives the new woman crazy
If she still thinks it’s up to her;

Where you live,
what car you have,
what kind of closet you have in your home,
what your girlfriend works with,
where she goes to school,
what she wears,
if you’re having kids,
where you work, what you eat for lunch,
where you eat your lunch,
what kind of curtains you have,
how you put up the wallpaper when you redecorate,
if your having pets,
when your doing the dishes,
if your girlfriend knows she had a liposuction,
what your dreams are...

GOD!
I’m glad I can jump on that train
And return to the present.

By the way, started taking a walk/run in the park every evning bout a week ago, It realy does makes wonder for the inspiration.
Why didn't I think of that before?

The world looks weird and I don't know what to make of it.
I have just decided that glasses isn't such a bad idea after all.
So I went to an optician and they tested my sight and told me
I had a defect called "astigmatism" very well, I got me some glasses.
Problem is, all my life I have had a hard time judging distances,
everything has been a bit flat and drawing from real life has been
pretty easy. Now, the translation from real life to 2D is hard!
Not to mention, I realy have to clean the windows in my workroom, I see that now.

Aww... very well, I'll see what to make of it.

The world was a bit more beautiful when it was fuzzy.